4 in 1: Preparing Meaningful Funeral and Grief Ministries
The NC Conference Worship Committee and the Center for Leadership Excellence present four workshops in one day, 4 in 1, to equip you in your funeral and grief ministries…
August 13 @ 10:00 am – 3:00 pm
*Doors open at 9:30 am
About the Day
Planning to Fare Well
Denise Waters and Laurie Hays Coffman
10am–11am
A meaningful service of worship at the end of life gathers a community of friends, loved ones, and guests to worship God. It points to the hope of resurrection, comforts those who grieve, and honors the life of the one being celebrated. This workshop will focus on helping families (and clergy who meet with families) to plan a “Celebration of Christ’s Resurrection and Service of Thanksgiving and Memory” or “Celebration of Life” for their loved one.
Such a service of worship can be aided by pre-planning, utilizing favorite scriptures, hymns, obituary details, and stories significant to one’s life. Inviting people to write down their own wishes and share them with family members can make the time of grief and service planning easier.
Using drama and their real life experience of leading hundreds of memorials, these chaplains will engage participants in making end of life celebrations meaningful for clergy and families alike.
After the Funeral: Grief Ministry and the Church
Terry Hamlet and Scott Glasser
11am–12pm
Once the planning and funeral service is over, families are left picking up the pieces and trying to make sense of their loss. Local churches have an important role to play in helping survivors through this process. Hosting a grief support group can bring people together and provide comfort for the survivors. This session will walk through the key considerations for supporting these kinds of groups, weighing different options and formats.
Preaching Resurrection: Funeral Homilies with Honesty and Hope
Laura Fine Ledford
1pm–2pm
Preparing and preaching a funeral homily can be some of the most meaningful and daunting work a pastor is called to do. We proclaim resurrection in the midst of those who believe deeply, and those who rarely enter a church building. We are invited to name suffering, grief, and the complexities of being human for those who lived long lives, and those who did not, for people we knew deeply, and people we’ve never met. In this session, we will explore together how we might step into this challenging task: how to listen well, how to find the text, and how to proclaim a word that is honest and hopeful.
Faith and Farewell: Partnering with Funeral Homes for Compassionate Care
Robert Lewis
2pm–3pm
When a loved one dies, families rely on funeral homes for essential services, and pastors and church leaders frequently collaborate with these professionals. However, assumptions and misunderstandings about each other’s roles can create challenges. This workshop lifts the veil on what funeral home directors do behind the scenes, clarifies the church’s vital responsibilities, and shows how both can join forces to serve grieving families with empathy and efficiency. Participants will gain sharp insights into timelines, communication, and teamwork—ensuring that when grief is raw, the focus remains where it belongs: honoring the life lived.
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About the Presenters
A native of Alabama, Denise earned BA and MA degrees from Scarritt College in Nashville, Tennessee. As a Diaconal Minister she served two churches in the South Georgia Annual Conference before coming to North Carolina in 1984 where she served 14 years in various program ministries at University UM Church in Chapel Hill and became an Ordained Deacon in 1997. She served 24+ years at Methodist Retirement Community and then Croasdaile Village Retirement Community in Durham as Chaplain Associate and Life Enrichment Director. In 2022 she returned to University UMC as a part-time Pastor to Senior Adults. She has served multiple terms on the NC Conference Board of Ordained Ministry, Served as Chair of the Order of Deacons and NC Christian Educators Fellowship, Chaired the Board for Orange County Habitat. Celebrating her 50th year in ministry this year, Denise also enjoys serving as a docent at Duke Chapel and Duke Gardens, as well as reading, flowers, Tarheel basketball, Alabama football and calligraphy among other things.
Laurie Hays Coffman is the Director of Chaplaincy at Croasdaile Village, a UMRH retirement community in Durham. A native of Texas, she spent early adult years in youth ministry and junior high classrooms teaching math and English. Married to her college sweetheart Stan , she birthed three kids who have more recently gifted her with six grandchildren, half in Chapel Hill and half in Costa Rica.
After five years on staff at HPCUMC, a large church in Cincinnati, Laurie came to Duke to complete her MDiv, to learn more about preaching, pastoral care, and prophetic ministry. She served as pastor for 17 years at Calvary UMC, the first reconciling church of the Carolinas, where she learned to care for/with/about Jesus’s friends un/like herself: LGBTQ+, Black, Jewish, unhoused, disowned, recovering from addiction or incarceration, creatively gifted, wise, searching, knowing life and love and God in different ways. It was a soul-shaping journey!
Serving a residency in Clinical Pastoral Education at Durham’s VA Medical Center, she joined the UMRH Continuing Care Retirement Community in 2012 as Chaplain to hundreds of fascinating elders and hundreds more global caregivers. Here she preaches, teaches, prays, visits, leads cultural awareness and meditation groups, and intimately learns about the Spirit’s loving presence in daily life, even amid dementia and death.
Terry Hamlet is a Grief and Loss Support Group facilitator at University United Methodist Church in Chapel Hill, NC. She first participated in a grief group after her father passed away in 2000. The comfort received from the group that was offered at her church helped her realize the importance of grief support. In 2010, she became a facilitator of grief and loss support groups. She subsequently completed a Master of Arts in Christian Practice at Duke Divinity School in 2022 and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction with the NC Institute for Spiritual Direction and Formation in 2026. Terry has been a Stephen Minister since 2005 and has a heart for journeying with people who are hurting and in need of support.
Scott Glasser is a Chapel Hill native who has been leading Grief and Loss support groups since 2001.
Laura is a graduate of UNC Chapel Hill, Duke Divinity School, and is certified as an End of Life Doula. She currently serves as Lead Pastor at Soapstone UMC in Raleigh. Laura and her spouse, Rodney, are doing their best to raise two teenage boys.
Robert is a United Methodist pastor, licensed funeral director, and embalmer who brings a unique blend of pastoral leadership and professional funeral service expertise to his teaching. With over 25 years of ministry experience in the US and abroad, including extensive work in hybrid worship technology, community partnership initiatives, and pastoral care, he combines deep spiritual sensitivity with practical skills. As Funeral Director, Chaplain, and Manager at Hill & Wood Funeral Service, Robert has guided families through loss while collaborating closely with clergy across denominations. His work coordinating care, supervising staff, and supporting grieving communities gives him a distinctive perspective on how churches and funeral homes can partner effectively. In this workshop, he draws on real‑world pastoral and funeral home experience to help clergy understand funeral home operations, clarify shared responsibilities, and strengthen communication so that, together, they can serve families with compassion and confidence.