In conflict transformation, effective communication is key. Here are some tips that we share with congregations about healthier communication techniques and skills.

10. Decide in advance how long you want the interaction to be.

9. Choose an appropriate time and place.

8. Practice what you want to say in advance. You might want to write out a brief statement of the issue.

7. Ignore what “they”, “other people”, or “a lot of people” think.  

6. Ignore anonymous communications.

5. Speak with the people directly involved in the issue or situation.

4. Listen more than you speak.

3. Introduce a difficult topic by saying, “Help me understand.”

2. Speak only from your own perspective. Do this by using “I” statements.

1. When you have something sensitive to discuss, face-to-face conversation is best. Phone calls or video calls are secondary options. PLEASE don’t email or text.