Light Breaking Forth
7 Where could I go to get away from your spirit?
Psalm 139:7-12 Common English Bible (CEB)
Where could I go to escape your presence?
8 If I went up to heaven, you would be there.
If I went down to the grave,[a] you would be there too!
9 If I could fly on the wings of dawn,
stopping to rest only on the far side of the ocean—
10 even there your hand would guide me;
even there your strong hand would hold me tight!
11 If I said, “The darkness will definitely hide me;
the light will become night around me,”
12 even then the darkness isn’t too dark for you!
Nighttime would shine bright as day,
because darkness is the same as light to you!
“Can you help me please?” the second-grade teacher begged me. At the time, I worked with the America Reads program as a tutor with Latino children in a local Durham elementary school in divinity school. The little boy needing help was relatively new to the United States. His parents did not speak English. His English was progressing; he was a fast learner too. For some reason though, he had digressed in his reading after a short holiday break. The teacher wasn’t sure what was going on and wanted my help.
The time came for his tutoring session. We found a spot outside his classroom in the building to read. He read with a notable difference in proficiency. Reading had become an audible struggle for him. Frustrated, the little boy slammed the book shut. Clearly something was wrong. I asked ever so simply, “what’s up?” in Spanish. Tears mirroring the raindrops outside started to roll down his rosy little cheeks. He tried to fight them back. I assured him it was okay.
Once he caught his breath, he shared about how his young life had changed recently. He confessed that both his parents worked so hard, all the time it seemed, to pay the bills. There was never enough money; they had been unable to pay the most recent electric bill. The little boy confessed trying to do his homework before it got dark. It had become harder to do with the long bus ride and shorter daylight hours. The electric bill money went to get their papers instead. His parents spent so much money just to get the United States. He shared how they couldn’t turn back now.
He choked up again and started to cry. “My parents can’t pay the light bill. They can’t buy me glasses. I’m getting really bad headaches. I can’t see well. And, I heard lots of gunshots last night near la casa.” This was perhaps just the surface of the trauma the boy had faced and was experiencing at home. It was clearly affecting his ability to learn.
The time came to return him to his room. I dutifully and reluctantly reported details of his story to the school teacher. She assured me that the guidance counselor would work to keep his family together and get them the help they needed.
The concerned teacher went on to share more disheartening news with me. I can’t remember it word for word. In so many words, she shared, “trauma affects the brain. It affects development. It stunts growth and it causes special needs we don’t address. Since this is a case caused by trauma, he may not get the help or qualify for the programs he needs.” Clearly, this was disconcerting. How could anyone learn and grow with so much trauma?
Recently, I started reading Stanley Hauerwas and Jean Vanier’s book, “Living Gently in a Violent World.” I appreciated the words, “society often uses the term special in negative ways… To recognize one’s own specialness is a gateway to friendship with God. It makes a radical political statement in a world that often forgets and traps us in a complex label of webs, stereotypes, caricatures, and false assumptions.” (p.14)
As I reflect back on my own response to this child with special needs, it was one any Christian would have. I prayed. I prayed for the guidance counselor to help this sweet boy as best she could. I thanked God for his loving teacher. I prayed that I would be a vessel of God’s love for this dear child. I wondered about all the help needed for children suffering from traumatic life situations. How do we broaden the definition of special needs and reach out to children who might be falling through the cracks?
As we pray in this season of Advent for God’s kingdom to come in its fullness, may we see God’s light constantly breaking forth in the brokenness. There is brokenness in the definitions we create and the pain and suffering of this world. Still, there is unbelievable power in sharing Christ’s light. May God’s light shine in ways far greater and brighter than we can ever imagine, even in the cracks.
Hymn/ Response by Kathleen Thomerson
“I Want to Walk as a Child of the Light.” #206
I want to walk as a child of the light
I want to follow Jesus
God sent the stars to give light to the world
The star of my life is Jesus
In Him there is no darkness at all
The night and the day are both alike
The Lamb is the light of the city of God
Shine in my heart, Lord Jesus
I want to see the brightness of God
I want to look at Jesus
Clear sun of righteousness, shine on my path
And show me the way to the Father
In Him there is no darkness at all
The night and the day are both alike
The Lamb is the light of the city of God
Shine in my heart, Lord Jesus
— Laura Dunlap ldunlap@nccumc.org